Shelf of Shame #21

YARRR... IS THAT A HARPOON, OR ARE YE JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

Queer Chums. Charles H. Eden. London: Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge: c. 1887. 12mo. 312pp + 8pp publisher's adverts. Decorative brown cloth, gilt titles, b&w illus.




"Old Nick the Sea Captain was a rough, tough, jolly sort of fellow. He loved the life of the sea, and he loved to hang out down by the pier, where the men dressed as ladies."

I am certainly not the only youth whose view of seafaring men and matters was permanently tainted by the hilarious antics of Monty Python. However, when I was older and slogging through the ham-fisted homo-eroticism of Herman Melville's "Moby Dick", I began to suspect where the Pythons might have found their inspiration. And, of course, the Simpsons' Sea Captain occasionally echoes similar sentiments.

Like so many books of this ilk, the title provides our unintentional humour while the content itself - a rollicking ol' seafaring yarn - is really fairly innocuous... save for the opening line of the introduction: "I find that boys nowadays are just as curious as their predecessors were some forty years ago..."

Fortunately, the Village People came along to help remind us all that curiosity is a fabulous thing.

For Further Research:
Sexuality in Melville's Writing
Charles H. Eden
Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge
Python Storytime
Simpsons' Sea-Captain
In the Navy pt 1
In the Navy pt 2

Shelf of Shame #12

(I'M AN ANGLICAN) I CAN WEAR WHATEVER I WANT ON MY JOHN THOMAS.

NODDY & THE MAGIC RUBBER
Enid Blyton. London: Samson Low, Marston & Co: 1954. 12mo. 60 pp. Orange pictorial boards, w. matching dj. Illustrated throughout.


Good thing Blyton's spiritual crisis didn't culminate in a conversion to Roman Catholicism or we'd have been treated to the less enlightened "Noddy and the Rhythm Method" - and its equally unsuccessful sequel "Noddy Pulls it Out at the Last Minute".


For Further Research:
Much Ado About Enid Blyton
Much Ado about Rubbers (Erasers)
Much Ado About Rubbers (Sex)

Porn Title Archive #3

PORN TITLES - April thru August 2010

On Her Majesty (Aug 29)
Tomorrow, Beaver Pies (Aug 22)
Cum Gusher, With Love (Aug 15)
The Man with the Emboldened Nun (Aug 8)
Cock-to-Pussy (Aug 1)
Ass Emo Royale (July 25)
The Giving Gay Tights (July 18)
Live in Wet Pie (July 11)
Die, Elizabethan Style, Another Day (July 4)
The Girl is not Enough (June 27)
A Ewe for a Fill (June 20)
Condom of Solace (June 13)
BrownEye (June 6)
Pearl Necklaces Are Cheaper (May 30)
You Only Jizz Twice (May 23)
Moonraider (May 16)
Underballs (May 9)
License to Thrill (May 2)
For Your Thighs Only (April 25)
Dr. Yes (April 18)
Boldfinger (April 11)

* there were no Porn Titles for the January-March 2010 period

Shelf of Shame #11

SECRET SAUCE... WHAT ??

Blake, Mary. Teen Time Cooking (with Carnation). 1959: Carnation Company: Toronto. Small 8vo. booklet, w. Illus. card covers. 16pp. Colour illus. throughout.

Bow-chicka-bow-wow.

I mean, I'd really like to believe they're going to cook, in a kitchen, with food. However, the cover illustration seriously calls that intent into question.


Particularly suspect in this context are recipes like "South of the Border Noodles and Beef" or "Five Minute Fudge for the Girls". The author proclaims: "You can learn to take pride and satisfaction in your cooking. Fun and memories are built around food." This booklet may well foster your culinary prowess... or awaken a deep-seeded affinity for sploshing.


FOR FURTHER RESEARCH:
Notes on Evaporated Milk
Everything you ever wanted to know about Sploshing... but were afriad to ask.

Shelf of Shame #10

THERE'S THE TRUE POPE, AND THEN THERE'S THE MAGNETIC POPE...

Marchessault, Guy. The Magnetic Pope. 1983, Novalis, Ottawa. Paperback, 160 pp. 16 pp. colour photos hors-texte in middle.


Just make sure you set your moral compass to the right one...


For Further Research:
List of Popes (I particularly like #46, St. Hilarius - the only funny one ever elevated: "Okay, you guys have been great - remember: I'm here all Easter, try the Host!"
Geomagnetism (not nearly as funny as the Popes)