Sometimes, things are wrong. At one point they may have been alright, and are now considered wrong, or, they always have been and ever will be just plain wrong. Oft times, these wrong things are also funny.

With that in mind, this endeavour features two main strands: the "Shelf of Shame" (books) and the "Screen of Shame" (film) and smaller strands such as "Sound of Shame" (vinyl) and "Miscellany of Shame" (various) - each showcasing items from my personal collection of bibliographic and cinematic oddities and curios.

Deemed shame-worthy according to varying criteria of wrongness, these humourous, surprising, and occasionally instructive items are therefore posted here for your perusal, amusement and edification. Enjoy.

Porn Title of the Week:

Red-dick (Sept 1)
Blow-Jobs (Aug 25)
The Butt-ler (Aug 18)
You're Sexed (Aug 11)
Fuck-Ass 2 (Aug 4)
We're the Fillers (July 28)
Tur-blow (July 21)
The Who-To-Do-List (July 14)
Pacific Rim-Job (July 7)
Blown Ranger (June 30)
White House Going Down (June 23)

Monday, June 1, 2009

Miscellany of Shame #1

from the Midland Mirror, Oct 30, 2008

So you want to buy an affordable house... well here it is! Only $129,900 for a "super starter". But you know what will really sweeten this great home-owning opportunity? K.D. of course. Lots of K.D.

What kind of shambles of a house must this be, that the offer of 365 boxes of Kraft Dinner might well be the lynchpin to swinging the deal? Well, we don't really know since our intrepid agent hasn't even pictured the house. Just the K.D. And I suppose that's clever, because now we have to go to open house to find out. I wonder if he provides a K.D. lunch for those attending...

I don't really hold the K.D. offer against him - it is quite funny. What niggles my brain is his assumption that 365 boxes of Kraft Dinner constitutes a year's supply. Which it does, provided a single box is eaten per day - never mind the fact that if it is a Leap Year we will, very annoyingly, be one box short.

But what if someone really likes K.D. and eats two per day - now we are down to a six-month supply. Or worse, three boxes per day and we're looking at about four months only. And this doesn't even factor in ketchup. Ketchup costs alone for that much K.D. are going to add up rapidly... don't even think of adding hot-dogs. Suddenly that new bathroom suite is on hold, and our sweet-deal dream-home is a soggy-pasta and dehydrated-cheese-product nightmare.

Still, you have to admire the uniqueness of this sales ploy. I guess some things just Gotta Be.

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