MISSION STATEMENT

Sometimes, things are wrong. At one point they may have been alright, and are now considered wrong, or, they always have been and ever will be just plain wrong. Oft times, these wrong things are also funny.

With that in mind, this endeavour features two main strands: the "Shelf of Shame" (books) and the "Screen of Shame" (film) and smaller strands such as "Sound of Shame" (vinyl) and "Miscellany of Shame" (various) - each showcasing items from my personal collection of bibliographic and cinematic oddities and curios.

Deemed shame-worthy according to varying criteria of wrongness, these humourous, surprising, and occasionally instructive items are therefore posted here for your perusal, amusement and edification. Enjoy.

Porn Title of the Week:

Red-dick (Sept 1)
Blow-Jobs (Aug 25)
The Butt-ler (Aug 18)
You're Sexed (Aug 11)
Fuck-Ass 2 (Aug 4)
We're the Fillers (July 28)
Tur-blow (July 21)
The Who-To-Do-List (July 14)
Pacific Rim-Job (July 7)
Blown Ranger (June 30)
White House Going Down (June 23)

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Porn Title Archive #7

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Shelf of Shame #24

BEFORE JOHN SHAFT THERE WAS... FLORIAN SLAPPEY ??

Octavus Roy Cohen.  Polished Ebony.  Dodd, Mead & Company: New York: 1919.  First Edition.  Blue cloth with yellow decorations to spine and front, with very scarce dustjacket.  8vo.  309pp. 4 illustrations by H. Weston Taylor.

Polished Ebony (1919) is a collection of short humourous stories all written in "negro" dialect. This was not a new concept by any means; in the late 19th century a number of works (chiefly poetical) emerged from the pens of white southern gentlemen who pined for the good ole days, when everyone knew their place in the social order and life was thus simpler, and happier. (There will be a posting on these items reasonably soon, I promise.)

Well, this first published collection of Mr. Cohen's negro stories represent the early twentieth century evolution of that literary tradition.  They introduce a number of characters (caricatures?) of which the most endearing and enduring (!) was Florian Slappey, sometime detective and full-time "negro".  However, to forego excessive pontification on the part of yours truly, I will let the inside dust-jacket promotional text speak for itself.

"In Polished Ebony, Mr. Cohen has given to the public a new and rich humor; a humor which provokes smiles, then chuckles, then hearty laughter.  His portrayal of the modern Southern society negro does not in any way border on the burlesque.  He writes with a sympathetic, tolerant, understanding hand.  Other writers have entertained the public with stories of the ante-bellum negro and the plantation darkey.  It has fallen to Mr. Cohen to give the Southern city negro of today his place in literature.  He has accomplished his task with distinction and infectious good humor.  His characters are live and vital.  His stories are rich in laugh-compelling situations, cleverly conceived plot, scintillating dialogue and masterfully drawn character.  We feel sure that Florian Slappey, Lawyer Evans Chew, Sally Crouch, Semore Mashby and the other happy-go-lucky characters to whom we are introduced by Mr. Cohen are destined to perpetual life."

Oh, racially motivated humour... what deliciously horrible gifts you leave to posterity.

For Further Research:

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Cover of Shame #2

COULROPHOBES BEWARE !!
Huser, Glen.  Touch of the Clown.  Douglas & McIntyre: Toronto: 1999. 12mo.  224 pages.


Poorly Chosen Title + Vaguely Creepy Cover Art = Shelf of Shame Worthy.


Has nobody ever heard of John Wayne Gacy?  




For Further Research:
Glen Huser
Coulrophobia
John Wayne Gacy

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Cover of Shame # 1

LITTLE PEDO ON THE PRAIRIE...

Ford, Linda. Prairie Cowboy.  Steeple Hill Books: 2011.  Mass market paperback, illustrated card covers.  276 p. + various ads at rear.


"In a bold new land, anything is possible..."  Such as inappropriate relationships, apparently - according to this creepy cover.




Given that this is a faith-driven inspirational novel, published under the Harlequin banner... someone should have been a little more careful in selecting the art.


But then, what would be the perverse fun in that?


For Further Research:
Harlequin Love Inspired Historical
Author Linda Ford

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Shelf of Shame #23

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN FATHER HARDON'S POCKET ANYTHING...


Pocket Catholic Dictionary.  John A. Hardon, S.J.  Doubleday: NY: 1985.  Mass market Paperback.  510 pp.


Makes a great companion piece to "Re-Entry... Christ's Second Coming" (Shelf of Shame #19). Religious material provides such a wealth of inadvertent humour.


One can only imagine the, erm, glowing reviews this one generated in the religious publishing world:

  • "A solid and penetrating work..." *
  • "Deeply satisfying!"
  • "...fully probes the subject at hand."
You get the picture.  I won't even make the obvious jokes about an abridged work somehow "coming up short".  Or that it is a softcover edition of Hardon's work...


For Further Research:
Hard-On
Father Hardon Archives
Hard-Ons (Australian Punk Band)
Leonard Cohen

* Thanks to Vicki L. for her quick wit in suggesting this one. :D

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Shelf of Shame #22

I WONDER HOW THE KING FEELS ABOUT THIS...??


Pioneers in the Queen's Bush.  Florence A. Fee.  Conestoga Press: Thornbury: 1984.  Fourth edition, revised.  8vo.  240 pp. + b&w illus.


That's the joke.


That is all.




For Further Research:
About Grey County
Find your own links to Bush Porn.  Pervs.

Porn Title Archive #6


21 Hump Street (Mar 25)
Post Rider: Spitroast of Vengeance (Mar 18)
A Thousand Sperms (Mar 11)
The Whoreax (Mar 4)
Project seX (Feb 26)
Ass of the Tit-'uns (Feb 19)
Want-her-lust (Feb 12)
Safe Sex House (Feb 5)
The Black in Woman (Jan 29)
One for the Money Shot (Jan 22)
Underbelly: Awakening (Jan 15)
Albert's Knob (Jan 8)
The Devil In Thighs (Jan 1)
War Whores (Dec 25)
We Bought a Heavy Petting Zoo (Dec 18)
The Face-Sitter (Dec 11)
Sleeping Booty (Dec 4)
Immorals (Nov 27)
The Bum Diary (Nov 20)
In Pussy, in Booty (Nov 13)
Tower-of-Power Heist (Nov 6)
Schlong Turn 4 -Bloody Beginnings (Oct 30)
Paramoral Activity 3Some (Oct 23)
The Big Thing (Oct 16)
Moneyshot (Oct 9)
Fecal Destination 5 (Oct 2)

Friday, March 30, 2012

Shelf of Shame #21

AND I THOUGHT I NEEDED THE INTERNET TO FIND THAT KIND OF THING...

Games You Can Play With Your Pussy. Ira Alterman. Illustrated by Marty Riskin. American Publishing Corp: Watertown, MA: 1978. Small 4to w. illustrated card covers, b&w illus throughout. 48pp.


I would like to think that the author wrote this book with tongue planted firmly in cheek. I will let you decide which cheek. *ahem*

About this entry I need not say anything else. All I need do is list the book's section headings. They will speak for themselves. Enjoy!

HEADINGS

Naming Your Pussy
How to Feed Your Pussy
How to Eat With Your Pussy
Pussy Hairs
Pussy Poo-Poo
Sleeping With Your Pussy
Your Pussy and Your Furniture
Your Pussy and Your Fern
Disciplining Your Pussy
Nursing a Sick Pussy
How to Handle a Hot Pussy
Pussy Hygiene
How to Give Your Pussy a Bath
Putting Your Pussy in the Kennel
Pussy Gives You a Gift
How to Get Your Pussy Out of a Tree
Exercising Your Pussy
Talking With Your Pussy
Games You Can Play With Your Pussy
Pussy Pong
Five Card Pussy
Pussy of the Mountain
Pussy-Go-Seek
Putting With Your Pussy
Pin the Tail on the Pussy
Spin the Pussy
Musical Pussies
Kick the Pussy
Pussy Zodiac
Why Everyone Should Have a Pussy

For Further Research:
You can do your own Google Searches for "Pussy".
Pervs.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Shelf of Shame #20

ARE YOU REALLY SURE THAT'S A GOOD IDEA...??

Skeen / Garner / Cartwright. Woodworking for Young Children. National Association for the Education of Young Children: Washington: 1984. (5th printing, 1997) 8vo, illustrated card covers, 86pp, many b&w illus.


Doubtless very well intentioned, this title might perhaps feel at home with other ill-advised works, such as "Flaming Torch Juggling for the Visually Impaired", "Venomous Snake Handling for Toddlers" and a cautionary tale about using daddy's power tools called "Little Johnny No-Arms".

But perhaps we are too quick to judge, after all, to quote Cosmo Kramer: "It's all supervised!" And to be sure, the book has a section on safety... on page 61.

First Aid follows a page later.


FOR FURTHER RESEARCH:
Woodworking Safety
NAYEC
Religious Snake Handling
Make Your Own Pie